God: “Mine is always your highest thought, your clearest word, your grandest feeling. Anything less is from another source.” ” The highest thought is always that thought which contains joy. The clearest words are those words which contain truth. The grandest feeling is that feeling which you call love.”
“These three are interchangeable, and only always leads to the other. It matters not in which order they are placed.”- Conversations With God.
“Thoughts have no power over us unless we give in to them. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have no meaning whatsoever. Only we give meaning to them. Let us choose to think thoughts that nourish and support us.”
“Think of a tiny rose bud. As it opens to full flower, till the last petal falls, it is always beautiful, always perfect, always changing. So it is with us. We are always perfect, always beautiful and ever-changing.”- Louise Hays
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” ~Edward Everett Hale
A really nice way to get your mind off yourself is to help someone else. I personally use this blog as my way to do that. Since I am sick and can not go out into the world and actually put in my time somewhere, I try to do it where ever I can through the internet. Helping others can really HELP YOU put your own pain, stress and problems into perspective. There is always someone out there who has it worse than you, no matter how bad you think you have it. There is always someone who is longing for anyone to understand them, listen to them and to love them. We all go through hard experiences, we all have suffered, failed, been through pain, lost someone or something important to us and have been dragged down by life at some point or another….so why not offer your own wisdom that you have gained from your personal experiences of hardship to someone who needs it or give your love to someone who is going through a dark time and is hurting. We are meant to help one another. We are all connected in many ways and we definitely are all connected spiritually whether you believe in that type of stuff or not. We aren’t meant to face our lives alone. Be the person you wish you had been lucky enough to have by your side when you were going through your worst. Helping people, animals, children or nature are all great ways to reconnect with yourself because in doing so, it brings up the most genuine feelings of love, satisfaction, joy and inner peace.
Ways to help:
1. Listening to an acquaintance, friend, loved one, or total stranger’s problems and giving them advice or just your understanding and love.
2. Donating to a charity you feel strongly about.
3. Volunteering at an animal shelter, an old age home, a place for special needs kids, a homeless shelter, a home/shelter for battered women, an orphanage, a hospital, etc.
4. Participating in a cause that you feel good about.
5. Reaching out to people over the internet. Such as going to online help sites and giving your support to people who are dealing with depression, mental illnesses, addictions, sicknesses, or other types of things that you have some experience with. OR create a advice blog on a particular subject.
6. Become an organ donor or donate blood.
7. Send someone a gift or card to lift their spirits if they are going through a particularly hard time.
8. Be kind in general. Go out of your way to open a door for someone, smile at random people, say hello, be a kind driver, assist someone who looks like they could use another hand, etc.
9. Adopt an animal from a pound who is about to be euthanized or just needs a loving home.
10. Send a child with cancer a note or a present. http://www.makeachildsmile.org/index.shtml
These are just some ideas. There are so many ways to help and make yourself useful to others who need it. ❤
Ps. If anyone ever needs advice, someone to talk to or somewhere to vent. I am always around (literally) :) and I am not just saying this, my door is open to anyone. Email me whenever at email@example.com.
Keep a book of compliments that you receive, it can be online or an actual journal that you keep hidden somewhere. It can be literally any compliment at all. It can be about your personality, regarding a talent you have or about your appearance. It is a good way to remember the good things people say about you and to be able to re-read them. I find myself only remembering the negative things and obsessing over those rather than remembering or fully taking in any of the good things that people say. If you write them down, you wont forget them because if you need to be reminded they are just a flip of a page away. You can add the dates to them as well. It may sound a little self absorbed but if you’re someone like me who has a hard time hearing the positive things about yourself (for me it is only regarding appearance) or if you just have low self esteem in general, doing this can actually really help. For example, If I got 5 compliments from 5 different people and then 1 negative comment. I would definitely obsess over the negative comment for days and completely forget about the nice ones. That might sound pretty bad but as I have said I have some major issues surrounding this area that I am currently working hard on. This technique has been helpful for me and I wanted to share it with you guys. It is just simply nice to be able to look over the kind things people have said about you when your having a bad or insecure day. ❤
It’s not easy
” I’m tired of people saying that I should just start to love myself. They don’t understand that it’s not that simple. It’s not like flipping a light switch. It takes a lot of time and effort. I won’t be able to just wake up one day, and get up and look in the mirror, and be happy with what is staring back at me. It’s not that simple, and it will never be that simple. I can’t go from hating myself one day, to loving myself the next. Life just doesn’t work that way.” - from tumblr
I think this statement is very honest and true. You can’t just go from hating or disliking yourself to loving yourself in an instant. It usually doesn’t work that way (some may say it can but how genuine would that really be?). For example this blog I’m creating is not to transform people into loving themselves (definitely not going to happen), it is to help people and myself to REMEMBER. Remembering how to love yourself is the first step. It takes time, it takes making an effort gradually and building up to maybe one day actually truly loving yourself. It is not going to happen in a snap of your fingers or over night or in a week or even in a year. The more you work on it though and the more acts of kindness you can show yourself, your body will recognize and respond to them. It will become easier as you keep doing it. It will become part of your awareness and eventually it will just become YOU. Just the intention of TRYING to love yourself, is indeed loving yourself. It takes a lot of practice but once you get there and stay there, you will not want to go back, I can assure you. :)
If you are feeling depressed, stressed out or just have too many things on your mind, something that I recommend would be to pamper yourself. When I am feeling obsessive or need to get my mind off things, I try to treat myself to a nice night of relaxation and create a spa like atmosphere around me. If you have kids, ask someone to watch them while you have this hour or two for yourself OR plan a night in advance when you know you are going to be free. Everyone deserves and NEEDS time to just unwind and relax. You should never feel guilty about it or feel that you should be doing something productive instead. You have ALL the time in the world to be productive and doing things like this will help you do better in all areas of your life anyways. I can assure you, it will make you feel like a queen.
1. Put on candles. Find candles from every room of your house and gather them into your bathroom or place them around the tub ( just be careful not to start a fire or burn your hair, like I have done!! haha… that was a wonderful experience, not ). Doing this will create a nice atmosphere of peace and relaxation.
2. Dim the lights and run a bubble bath. I would add one or all of these things in your bath depending on your mood: Oils (aromatherapy), bath salts (to draw out toxins and to relax you), bath bombs ( can be very hydrating to your skin and also just fun to watch! ), milk ( yes, I said milk… you can buy special milk bath products or use some milk you have in your fridge). It really hydrates your skin and makes it super soft. Lastly, exfoliation. Using a loofah and scrubbing your skin with a nice exfoliator will help remove all the dead skin cells and give your skin a nice glow. You can make your own or buy one. Recipe for making your own click HERE.
3. Put on music. Something soothing and happy rather then sad or depressing. If you put on something depressing, it may make you feel like drowning yourself rather then pampering yourself and we don’t want that ;P. I also recommend listening to a meditation tape if you have one.
4. Keep a piece of your favorite chocolate by the tub so you can indulge in it while your soaking.
5. Put on a mask. You can even slice up cucumbers to make it feel more spa like. A nice inexpensive mask you can get at any local pharmacy. I find that St. Ives and Alba are good products and they don’t break you out (at least for me and I have acne prone skin). They make your skin feel tighter and smoother which is always nice :)
6. Apply your favorite lotion all over your body (my personal favorite one at the moment is Country Chic from Bath and Body Works, they have a really nice selection and it’s not expensive.)
7. Lastly, get into some comfy pajamas or a sexy negligee depending on your mood and get into bed or find a nice place to sit and read a book. Keep the candles going while your at it :).
Deep breathe, relax and let go. Remember this is YOUR time and no one else’s. Tell your obsessive worries and thoughts to come back when you are finished, you have the rest of your life to worry and think, take this time to just shut off and give yourself a deserving break.
Ps. I know this post isn’t really aimed at guys (I’m sorry) but for you men out there pampering yourself doesn’t have to feel weird. Taking a steaming hot bath without all the bubbles and putting on relaxing music will help your muscles relax and soothe your mind.
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!! ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE YOU FEEL LESS SPECIAL, LESS WORTHY, LESS UNIQUE, LESS LOVEABLE, LESS OF A PERSON, LESS OF AN INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS THE SAME RIGHTS AS EVERYONE, LESS TALENTED, LESS ATTRACTIVE, LESS WONDERFUL, LESS IMPORTANT, LESS OF A WOMAN OR LESS OF A MAN, LESS BELIEVABLE, LESS BEAUTIFUL. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE! GAY, STRAIGHT, BLACK, WHITE, DISABLED, BROKEN, DEPRESSED, SICK, RICH, POOR, YOUNG, OLD, SMALL, BIG. WHETHER YOUR A REPUBLICAN, A DEMOCRAT, A LIBERAL OR A CONSERVATIVE. WHETHER YOUR A CHRISTIAN, A BUDDHIST, JEWISH, AN ATHEIST, PAGAN, A MUSLIM, OR A HINDU. WHATEVER YOUR HERITAGE MAY BE. WHATEVER BACKGROUND YOU MAY HAVE COME FROM. WHATEVER NEIGHBORHOOD YOU LIVED IN. WHOMEVER PARENTS YOU HAD. WHATEVER MISTAKES YOU HAVE MADE. DON’T LET OTHERS MAKE YOU FEEL JUDGED OR INADEQUATE. YOU ARE SPECIAL! YOU ARE AMAZING! EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU’RE NOT. YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND EVERYONE HERE ON EARTH HAS A VERY SPECIAL PURPOSE, WHETHER YOU WANT TO BELIEVE IN THAT OR NOT. EVERYONE YOU MEET AND EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE, GOOD OR BAD IS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. TO HELP YOU GROW AS A PERSON, TO HELP YOU BE BETTER AND MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES, TO HELP YOU REMEMBER MORE OF WHO YOU ARE. EVERY HARD SITUATION IS MAKING YOU STRONGER. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF AND BE GOOD TO OTHERS. EVERYONE HAS A STORY. DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS AND DO NOT LABEL. EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE AND SPECIAL IN THEIR VERY OWN DISTINCTIVE WAYS.
LOVE YOURSELVES! or at least try. ❤ DON’T LET ANYONE EVER BRING YOU DOWN! YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
Letter to Self
Write yourself a letter.
- A letter about where you want to be in a year.
- What you hope to have accomplished, (try to make it reasonable).
- Write two things you love about yourself.
- Write a couple lines of where you are right now in your life.
- Sign your name, Love…….
Now there are three ways to do this.
1. The first one is my favorite, but it costs a couple dollars. It is a miniature post office, where they write the letter or note out for you on teeny tiny paper, with teeny tiny writing and put it in a teeny tiny envelope, with a teeny tiny stamp and send it to you in a bigger envelope. They give you a magnifying glass to read it!!! HOW COOL IS THAT! I would save it in a special place until a year passes, then open it.
Here is the link: http://www.leafcutterdesigns.com/shop/wsps/about.html
2. Same letter idea but in an email. This site lets you choose the option of when to send it to out to you. You can choose a couple months, to a year or more. This one doesn’t require money or much effort. :)
3. Last one is just a good old fashioned letter. Write it out on a piece of notebook paper and put it in an envelope, seal it up and write on the back when to open it again. Hide it in a special place.
I have done this one twice. The first time I remember forgetting about it haha, then I found it a year later in a box that I had hidden in my closet. It made me cry to read it because I had almost accomplished everything I had written. I was so proud of myself during that moment. I didn’t write anything down that was impossible. I only wrote things that I was very capable of accomplishing in a year. Then the second time I did it, I found it under my bed in a shoe box? Go figure…. I hadn’t accomplished really anything that I had written. Everything was still in the same place that it was the year before (this had mostly to do with being sick). I think I had checked off two things on that list, I remember one was “to feel better about being alone with myself”. Although I was disappointed, I realized that at least I had done 2 things! That’s a whole lot when you think about it. That is two things down that you made happen! Plus your ideas may have changed and it is cool to see what you may want now instead of what you wanted a year ago. Don’t make them too hard. Of course if you didn’t accomplish anything on that list, who cares! At least you made the intention and that is what matters. Plus its fun!
Oh and don’t forget to write down the two things you love about yourself part. That was really sweet to read and don’t forget to add a couple lines of where you are at that very moment in your life.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is a small meditation that my dad taught me when I was younger, he has also taught it in many group workshops that he has led and to his clients ( he is a therapist ). It is a beautiful and very helpful exercise to do each day to bring more peace and joy into your daily life.
All you do is find a comfortable place to sit or to lye down and take your right hand and place it over your heart area. Whenever you breathe in, think of something that you are grateful for having in your life. No matter what it is, it can be your cat, your parents, your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your ability to breathe, to eat, to be alive. It can be absolutely anything. It just has to make you smile when you think of it.
Sit for 2 or 3 minutes just breathing into your heart the thing or the many things that you are grateful for. When you inhale, imagine the feeling flooding your cells and your body making them dance. Imagine your heart opening up like a flower and receiving your appreciation. When you exhale imagine your worries, pain or anything that is negative going on in your mind, leaving your body.
It is as simple as that.
I can PROMISE you that you will feel better after doing this exercise. I have done it many times during horrible bouts of despair or anger and felt such a relief even after 2 minutes of doing it.